Remembering Eternity

I sliced through the garlic and onions and added them to the simmering black pot.

I thought about one day making dinner for more than one.

Then I started thinking about the momma battling cancer- how many more dinners will she fix?

What about the family who said good-bye to their little girl before she was even 15? Do they ache at night when they set the dinner table for one less?

How about gran who probably won't ever fix her self dinner again. One day sooner rather than later she won't be able to feed herself dinner.

"Daddy, what's the hope?! We live and die and dinner doesn't even matter."

He reminded me about the feast, the one where he sits with us.

The one that mom and daughter will be at together- cancer free- no fear of separation or loneliness. It's not even possible at Jesus' dinner table!

There's another plate on that table for a little brown eyed girl and one day her family will sit with her.

One day, some day I'll be there.

Sitting at the eternal dinner table with the bread of life.

I won't be lonely or fearful.

I won't wrestle with doubt.

It'll be a good dinner.

This is not Dulisom, this is Domination

I closed my eyes tightly and stared into the blackness

I could feel the hot tears press against my shut skin

And I craved the protection of my Papa's hidding place

But there I sat, knees to cold concrete.

I felt exposed and like every flaw was being displayed.

The anxiety of the "what ifs" and unknows made me physically breathless

Listening to Joshua pray I heard the truth.

The battle's been won, we don't fight for victory.

The glory is secure, we aren't fighting to win God more glory.

The battle is a spiritual one waged for our minds, our loyalty, the truth about our identity.

He, the father of all lies, like a skilled basket weaver takes the reeds and weaves our half truths with half lies. 

But the truth comes; 

HE has disarmed the rulers and authorities that stood against me with their legal demands and he has put THEM to open shame. 

He has renamed me from "no mercy", "not my people" (Hosea) "forsaken", and  "desolate" (Isaiah 62) to "Married", and "My delight is in her" (Isaiah 62) 

I was deserted and cast off, barren for a moment but now He has called me, He has with great compassion gathered me. 

He, the Lord of Hosts, my Maker, my Husband, my Redeemer, has called me! 

This is not dulisom, this is domination.