He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me.

You know the beautiful display full of colorful petals, plump, budded, aromatic blossoms Whole Foods sets out, right in front of the door?

A few Wednesdays ago, I pushed my cart full of weekly grocery necessities past that very stand.

I walked past them slowly contemplating picking up a bright arrangement.

But I couldn't justify it.

I just couldn't.

Pouting I walked away full of self pity.

How embarrising that, that was my reaction.

But it was. 

The Spirit very gently reminded me that my heart was treading on a slippery slop, but I didn't care.

Have you ever had a moment like that?

You know you're wrong, but something inside of you screams that the real crime is the standard  of right and wrong.

"I'm much more content than so many people. I expect very little, and I can't even have what little I expect." 

Oh the yuck that something beautiful like a masterly displayed arrangement full of creation can reveal in my heart. 

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! 

I can't even tell you if my heart had truly relinquished the self pity, and was pure in what I prayed.
 
But pushing past the display of lushness I thought:
"I just wish you gave flowers Jesus, not like in a field but in an actual bouquet." 

Silly? If only you heard all of the things I told Jesus. This would be among the least ridiculous.

On the way home I kept thinking about the bundles of colorful delight and my bratty attitude.

Ashamed I repented and moved on to other things.

Coming into work the next morning I walked around the corner to find coffee.

On a metal push cart sat almost a dozen green vases with cream colored carnations, soft pink roses, mint kissed hydrangeas, white daises and fresh greenery.

"Who are all of these for?" I hollered down the hall

"The admins, pick one." 

 If I had been alone I wouldn't have fought the lump in my throat.

My bratty attitude, my ungratefulness, my pride.

But there I stood in the hall, with not just any arrangement in my hands but my favorites.

The beauty of the Psalm flooded me.

Don't skip this part read it carefully, savor the amazing sweetness of what David says:

This is too much, too wonderful—    I can’t take it all in!
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!. Psalm 139

The creator stepped in to give His creature something wonderful. 

 

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works."

How does he work? He the Creator, stepped into his creation to save those bent on His destruction.


"Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." Matthew 6:25-33 the message

After my show of ridiculousness the one who had just made the sun get up and shine, and watch each raven fall, all while being glorified by creatures and elders. Gave me a bouquet of flowers.

He loves. He loves. He loves me.

So many ways He could have reminded me. But that day such a sweet, tender way was used.